Life Groups Overview

A New Vision Fellowship, we want to be as focused on forming and filling our current people as we are on finding new people. The people Christ causes to be found among us grow our width, while the people He causes to be formed and filled grow our depth as a church and their maturity as disciples, better equipping us all to flow Christ's riches into the world.

Jesus has commanded us as His followers to make disciples (Mt 28:18-20). What is a disciple? Simply put, a disciple is a follower of Jesus. More specifically, we define a disciple as an individual who has surrendered his or her life to Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord and who now seeks to live for Jesus by stewarding well what God has given, seeking an ever-deepening understanding of and obedience to God's Word, and loving all people through service and sharing the gospel. When our people commit themselves to following Jesus in this way, our church grows deeper, and our people grow in Christian maturity.

God has designed for discipleship to thrive as believers share life with other believers. The Bible is filled with many passages that instruct believers concerning their relationship to “one another” – we are to love one another (the trademark characteristic of discipleship per Jn 13:34-35), be hospitable to one another (1 Pt 4:9), bear with one another (Eph 4:2), bear one another’s burdens (Gal 6:2), confess our sins to one another and pray for one another (Ja 5:16), encourage one another and build one another up (1 Th. 5:11), teach and admonish one another (Col 3:16), stir one another up to love and good deeds (Heb 10:24), and serve one another (Gal 5:13). In order to foster discipleship that goes deep and helps form mature believers, we call for members and attendees of our church to live out the “one anothers” of God’s Word by gathering together to share life with other believers in groups that we call Life Groups.

Life Groups are groups of around 8 to 16 members and attendees from our church who meet together weekly for 3, 10-week trimesters throughout the year to intentionally Connect, Reflect, and Protect.

Connect

Every person who finds a church home at New Vision ought to be known and cared for. While it is nearly impossible for any single person in our church body to know and keep track of every other person in the body, we believe that it is both possible and vital for each person to find a tight-knit group of people that they can connect with throughout the year who will know them and care for them. Life Groups are designed to help people find a group of believers that they can connect with in this way, and a portion of each Life Group’s weekly gathering is dedicated to fostering connections among group members.

Reflect

The journey of discipleship involves being transformed into the image of our Lord (2 Cor. 3:18). We grow to reflect Jesus. And that happens as we reflect upon and make strategic plans to live in faithful obedience to God’s written and living Word. Life Groups spend intentional time reflecting on the Word that God has given us for the week, discussing and strategizing and encouraging one another for how we might live God’s Word out in our daily lives. This happens as the gathered group discusses responses to a series of questions aimed at helping group members go deeper into the sermon for the week. To see a sample of recent guides check out the Latest Gathering Guides section of our Life Groups webpage.

Protect

Jesus, in declaring that He had not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance, stated “It is not those who are healthy who need a physician, but those who are sick” (Lk 5:31). He hasn’t built the church to be a museum for saints, but a hospital for sinners. Life Groups are a key avenue for fostering an environment where we can each recover from the effects of sin and grow into healthy disciples. And an important way we do that is by living out the “one anothers” of the Word mentioned above that help us progress toward healthy maturity. Here’s where we need the protection of other believers, who are watching for and opening our eyes to the blind spots in our lives that may show up in our attitudes and actions so that we might encourage one another, admonish one another, pray for one another, bear one another’s burdens, and stir one another up to love and good deeds. Life Groups are designed to be a place where we have one another’s backs, with group members seeking to protect other group members from the negative influences of the flesh, the world, and the devil.

Role Description

A Life Group Leader at New Vision Fellowship is a champion of our church’s mission and vision. You’ve probably heard the mission and vision of our church. Our mission is to multiply God’s glory on the earth. We want to make much of our great God who has met us with the eternal-life transforming news of rescue in our Lord, Jesus Christ. And we understand that our Great Commission mandate from our Master to make disciples of all the nations is a calling to multiply magnifiers of His name (those who are found), models of His character (formed), members of His church (fired), ministers of His grace (filled), and messengers of His love (flowing).

We see from the early church in its purest form in Acts 2:42-47 that meeting together, doing life together, seeking the Lord together, praying together, and praising God together creates fertile ground for the Holy Spirit to work among believers. Life together is a key avenue to multiplying God’s glory on the earth. Your job as a Life Group Leader is to help individuals connect, reflect, and protect with a focus towards multiplication.

How can you do that?

1. Cultivate an environment where these activities can thrive. Group Leaders set the tone for groups where individuals connect with one another, care for one another, and care about the word and mission of God.
2. Challenge group members. Consistently evaluate the activities your group is involved in and prayerfully consider how you can drive individuals out of comfortable complacency into God-glorifying multiplication.

A Life Group Leader is a disciple of Jesus, a facilitator of healthy gospel-centered conversations, and a listener who encourages others to take the next steps in their discipleship journey. A Life Group Leader is not a therapist, a preacher, a teacher, or the answer to everyone's problems. Though you should certainly care about everyone in your group, trying to fix them or their problems is not your role. Instead, your key role for weekly gatherings is that of a facilitator. We don't expect you to be a seasoned Bible scholar or problem-solver for everyone’s problems. Instead, we expect you to cultivate a great environment where Christ can meet your people in their discipleship journey and form them and fill them so that they might ultimately flow His riches into the lives of others.

Each Life Group should at least have at least one Life Group Leader for each gender present. That means that mixed gender groups should have a male Life Group Leader and a female Life Group Leader. Life Groups that are designed for only men or only women may only have one Life Group Leader, though we still recommend involving 2 leaders to share the load. While we, as a church, do diligently strive to honor the biblical instruction of 1 Timothy 2:12 that a woman should not be allowed to teach or exercise authority over a man, we are not asking individuals in this facilitator-focused role to carry out either of those tasks. Therefore, we encourage the male and female Co-Leaders of a mixed gender Life Group to work out together how they will share the facilitation duties of the group, leading those facilitation efforts together. If there are times when teaching is incorporated, then we ask mixed gender groups to honor 1 Tim. 2:12 by having a female Co-Leader who is teaching do that in her sub-divided group time with only women.

Weekly Responsibilities

As a Life Group Leader, each week of a Life Group trimester you will pray for your group members, facilitate the weekly gathering, record attendance, and maintain communication with your group members. We provide a weekly Life Group Gathering Guide that should give you a framework for the weekly gathering and make your work of facilitating a sinch. Each person is different, but we estimate that your time commitment to this task might be between 2 and 4 hours a week.

Pray for Members of Your Group

Recognizing that the Holy Spirit does the true work of sanctification and growth in the lives of believers, we ask that you pray for the members of your group regularly. While the Lord may use you to facilitate His work, you must recognize that your role is a complementary one. God produces the lasting fruit through the power of His Spirit. Thus, one of the best things you can do for your group members is to pray for them regularly.

Facilitate Weekly Gatherings

Life Groups meet together weekly throughout our 10-week trimesters. Our weekly Life Group Gathering Guides, available on the Life Groups page of our website, are designed to guide Life Group Leaders through the essential elements of each week’s gathering. This document is prayerfully created each week of active trimesters based on the sermon from that week. Utilizing the guide sets the stage for connection, reflection, and protection to take place. While we know that there are many solid resources available for groups to use, all of our Life Groups should use our Life Group Gathering Guide instead of another group-focused material so that we can grow together as one church meeting in many locations. If we're all working through the same content, it becomes easier for our leaders to keep the church heading in the same direction - whether we're casting vision, clarifying direction, or simply dealing with important issues. Using this material also takes much of the burden off of our Life Group Leaders and helps you to involve everyone in the group.

Delegate ownership of your Life Group gatherings to your group members. For most of our groups, this will already be something you’re giving attention to with a Co-Leader. But consider how you might involve other group members in the weekly responsibilities of hosting (more on that in a bit), bringing snacks, taking notes during prayer time, and even leading the discussion and prayer times. A healthy goal is to share the responsibility of leadership with your Life Group members, helping you to grow in leadership and cultivating leaders within your group.

Preparing for Weekly Gatherings

Take these steps as you prepare for the Life Group gathering each week:

1. Engage with the weekly sermon. Be regularly found in worship services, where the sermon our groups will reflect upon is preached. Consider setting the example by taking notes. We understand that you may not always be able to gather in person. But you can still watch the weekly sermon on our YouTube channel, which will also be linked from our Life Groups page.
2. Pray over your gathering. While we’ve already mentioned the importance of praying for group members, you should also pray that the Holy Spirit will give you wisdom and equip you with all that you need to facilitate deeper relationships – both divine and interpersonal – among your people.
3. Read through the weekly Gathering Guide before your group meets, answering the questions for yourself.
4. Decide which questions you want to be sure your group covers for the week. These guides will typically contain more questions than a healthy group can get to in the allotted time for any given week. Therefore, you should expect that you might not reflect upon every question every week as a group. Prayerfully consider how you can use the questions your group is discussing to lead group members into a deeper relationship with Jesus, a deeper appreciation for God’s Word, a deeper examination of the sermon, and a deeper dive into what they're learning about God and His character. On some occasions, a single question or the life circumstances of one of your group members may demand the group's attention and change the course of your gathering. For most gatherings, you should prepare and follow the Gathering Guide. But leave room for God to change the agenda when the need arises.

Weekly Gathering Flow

We provide a Weekly Gathering Typical Flow guide on our Life Groups webpage. Here are a several pointers for Life Group Leaders as you follow that flow:

1. Once your group is gathered and has had a little time to socialize and refresh, you will devote a little time in each gathering to sharing announcements and getting to know one another. We will provide the announcements on the second page of your Gathering Guide each week. As a Life Group Leader, you should share those announcements verbally with your entire group each week. This is a key way that we can communicate important information to you and your entire group without sending a ton of emails and texts. Don’t assume that everyone in your group is keeping up with what is going on at New Vision. Some people may need to know about the next baptism or On Ramp class to know how they can take their next step in discipleship. Others may need to block out time on their calendars for important events. Even better yet, they may be more likely to come to an event if they know that someone else from their group will be there. This can be important time to enrich the lives of individuals and the church.
2. Next, your Gathering Guide will feature a couple of questions focused on helping the group to connect by talking about your lives and God sightings, which are ways your group members have seen God at work through the situations in their lives. This should naturally lead into a way of collecting prayer requests and praises. This is a rich part of being involved in a Life Group. You get a front-row seat to seeing God’s work changing lives, families, and eternities!
   • TIPS: Some of our groups may appoint someone to write down all the prayer requests and text or email them to your group each week. Other groups may encourage each group member to keep his or her own prayer journal and jot down the requests as they hear them in group. Either way, it is important to ask your group’s members to use the prayer requests to pray for each other daily. Praying for each other daily will help your group to go deeper in connecting over time. Praying for someone changes your heart for that person, helping you to take personal investment in their welfare. As a Group Leader, you want to empower the members of your group to pray for one another and challenge them to commit to following through with a commitment to do so.
3. Before you move on to the Reflect questions focused on the sermon for the week, ask a group member who is comfortable praying out loud to open your group with prayer. Help your group members to see that what matters to them matters to God. Remember to celebrate God sightings and praise God when group prayers are answered.
4. As you begin the Reflect questions within your guide, have someone read the focal Bible passage for the week.
   • TIP: Sometimes the weekly Bible passage may be a lot to read. You could choose to break the passage up into smaller readings, write those down on small pieces of paper, and lay them out on a table where your group gathers before group members arrive. Then you could ask anyone who's willing to read to take one of those readings to share. This will allow more group members an opportunity to read and will spare a single group member from having to read at all.
5. As you review the questions, please read and reflect as a group on one question at a time.
6. As a Group Leader, remember that you're not expected to have all of the answers. Sometimes when you ask a question, you may need to share first to encourage others to participate. However, you don't want to be the first person or even the second person to answer every question. Resist the temptation to rush in with what you think. Though sometimes awkward, silence can be a golden tool that God uses to powerfully break into our hearts.
   • TIP: You may need, at times, to treat silence like a game in your head, saying “the first one to speak loses, and it's not going to be me!” That will almost always lead to someone sharing what the group needed to hear.
7. Be open to going where the Holy Spirit leads your group’s discussion time. After everyone has had a chance to answer a question, you will typically move on to the next question. But there may be times when you sense the need to dive deeper into that same question. If you ask, “what does this say about the character of God?” and someone says, “He loves us,” you should encourage the group to go deeper with that. Your leadership will determine how deep your group goes with their answers. The way you share and gently prod for deeper and more open responses can make a big difference in your group. Some great ways lead the group into a deeper consideration would be to use simple follow-up questions, such as these: “Can you tell me more about that?” “What else?” “What's challenging about that?” “Would anyone else like to share?” “What does the Bible say about this topic?” You may even see one of your group members trying to share, but then they stop themselves or maybe get cut off by another member. Keep a read on the room, and when you encounter something like that, you could simply say, “Hey, Susan. You looked like you were about to say something?” That can help other people to share. However, we don't recommend just calling on people to share. Some group members are introverted and will despise being put on the spot. Talk to those members one-on-one and see how you can help them participate more in the group.
8. Save at least 10 minutes of your Reflect time for the Smaller Group (Gender-Specific) Discussion Question(s) at the end of this section. These questions will typically dive deeper into our vulnerabilities and areas where our lives need to change, calling us to commit to living our lives in accordance with God’s plans.
9. Close with at least 15 minutes when group members can pray for one another. You may choose to do this as a larger group or stay in smaller groups. You may even choose to pair individuals up with a prayer partner or two of the same sex for this time.
10. Strive to keep your group moving according to an agreed upon schedule. If individuals are expecting to meet for an hour and a half but group gatherings regularly stretch out to two and a half hours, you will start to see individuals checking out. And your hosts may grow weary of hosting. So keep an eye on the clock. Or better yet – ask someone from the group to keep an eye out and advise you when it’s time to move along to the next focus.

Record Attendance

By recording attendance for your Life Group every week, you help yourself and our church’s leaders keep a pulse on how engaged your group members are and the overall health of your group. You should receive a reminder notification about 15 minutes after your group has begun. But you can log your group’s attendance at any time by logging in to https://nvf.life/me and clicking on your group in the “Groups” section near the bottom of the page (mobile) or in the right column of the page (larger screens). Once there, you should tap or click on the “Attendance” tab, then tap or click on the appropriate date from the grid that appears. Tap or click on each member who was present to select them, and you’re done logging attendance!

When a group member doesn't attend your Life Group, we recommend that you reach out to that member right away. That allows you to see if something might be happening with that member, ways he or she might need prayer, or perhaps even other ways that member might need support from your group. This also lets the missing group member know that you noticed when he or she wasn’t there, showing that you care.

Recording attendance provides other valuable insights that will help you lead your group. You may detect that a member has stopped coming altogether and needs to be moved to an “Inactive” status. See the Following Up with Inactive Members section below for more information on that. Using attendance insights, our church leaders can detect when groups have grown to capacity, keep tabs on who is truly being discipled, and assess which target audiences may benefit from the launch of new groups. It really is important for you, as a Life Group Leader, to take accurate attendance each week.

Communicate with Group Members

We encourage Life Group Leaders to connect with your group members outside of group on a weekly basis. You might connect through text messages, phone calls, emails, or even personal notes. What might you communicate about? One great way to keep your group thinking about the Scripture and the sermon throughout the week is to text or email them a link to the weekly Life Group Gathering Guide. The Guide is not designed to be a secret. Let your group know that the Guide is designed to be used by everyone, and encourage them to read the questions and think about them before they come to the group gathering. This will help your group discussions to go deeper, quicker. Also, setting the expectation that group members should prepare for a time of group study when we will go over their preparations in the meeting causes lots of people to open Bibles that would have otherwise been left on their nightstands.

Less Frequent Responsibilities

There are a handful of tasks that we ask our Life Group Leaders to champion that aren’t necessarily weekly. Life Group Leaders should maintain their group's roster on our church website, lead the group to plan occasional Beyond Weekly Gatherings, and raise up new leaders to enable us to multiply groups.

The Group Roster

You can update your group’s roster at any time by logging in to https://nvf.life/me and tapping or clicking on your group in the “Groups” section near the bottom of the page (mobile) or in the right column of the page (larger screens). Once there, you should tap or click on the “Roster” tab, then tap on (mobile) or hover over (larger screens) a person to reveal the edit (pencil) and delete (x) actions. When editing, you can change a group member’s Member Status to “Inactive” or “Active,” and you can change their Communication Preference to “Email” or “SMS.” Be sure to tap or click the “Save” button at the bottom when you are done.

Beyond Weekly “Deeper Gatherings”

While the weekly gathering is the mainstay where Life Groups regularly engage in discipleship, we encourage Life Group Leaders to lead their groups to plan at least 2 other Deeper Gatherings each trimester. The group may choose to plan a combination of Deeper Fellowship, Deeper Devotion, and Deeper Service gatherings.

Deeper Fellowship Gathering

A Deeper Fellowship Gathering focuses on deepening relationships and getting to know people outside of your typical Life Group Gathering. These are great nights to invite a friend to as a casual way to then invite them to the Life Group Gathering. You could choose to eat dinner together, do potluck at somebody's house, go out to a restaurant, plan a picnic, host a game night, bring families together for a time at the park, or maybe go bowling or play some miniature golf. Just ask your group, “what do you like to do?” Then, go and do it together. Have fun. This is a simple way to love God as you love one another.

Deeper Devotion Gathering

A Deeper Devotion Gathering focuses on guiding your group through a particular spiritual focus with the hope of deepening your relationship with Jesus and each other. You may choose to gather together for an evening that’s just focused on prayer for one another, or you may binge watch a series on some discipleship topic from RightNow Media. You could invite a pastor or teacher from within the church in to share with your group. If you need more guidance on how to lead a Deeper Devotion Gathering, or you want to connect with someone who might be able to lead your group through a focused study, reach out to your Life Groups leadership team.

Deeper Service Gathering

A Deeper Service Gathering is about serving and loving God by serving others outside your group together. Your group could gather for a project to help someone in your neighborhood. You could join in to serve a local ministry for a few hours together. If you are looking for good ministries to partner with, reach out to your Life Group leaders.

Raising Up New Leaders

If we are going to be a church that successfully lives out our mission to multiply God’s glory on the earth, then it is critical that we must regularly be identifying, evaluating, equipping, and sending out new potential Life Group Leaders to advance our discipleship efforts. An essential component of the heartbeat of every group must be to send out new Life Group Leaders and members out to form new groups. Sending is not something we dread. Sending honors the heart of our Savior, Who says “go make disciples!” Therefore, we anticipate and celebrate sending at every phase of a Life Group’s life span.

As a Life Group Leader, your role is to identify and call up leaders who will eventually lead a group of their own. We want to cultivate a culture where disciple-making disciples are raised up in Life Groups to be sent out to make disciple-making disciples of their own as they multiply groups, creating multiplying opportunities for individuals to be found, formed, fired, filled, and flowing through the Lord and His church at New Vision.

Here’s how we recommend going about raising up and sending out new leaders:

1. Regularly cast the vision that we intend to send people out from our Life Group. This can be both during your group’s weekly meeting times and in one-on-one conversations. Life Groups are a key component of discipleship at our church. As new people join our church, we’ll need new leaders to start new groups. Your group members will be some of those leaders!
2. Pray over your group members in search of potential leaders. Pray for God to help you discern the individuals our couples in your group that He is preparing for this task. We are looking for individuals who are spiritually warm – meaning they have a growing relationship with Jesus – and relationally warm – meaning they are likeable, and people enjoy being around them.
3. Once you have identified a potential leader, have an “I see in you” conversation with that person or couple. Let them know you see group leadership potential in them after praying for the Lord to help you identify leaders who will help us carry forward the church’s mission in the future. Ask them if they would be willing to become a Life Group Future Leader. Inform them that there's no set timeframe for when you expect them to become Life Group Leaders - it could be for the next trimester, or it could be a couple years in the future. We're going to leave the timing up to God. But we want to focus on the process of helping others be ready to lead when God leads them to lead. In fact, the most honoring and helpful way to raise up and send out a new Life Group Leader would likely be for their present Life Group Leader to disciple the new leader over a period of time. When we are actively and intentionally discipling others, the time to send out becomes part of the process of the discipling relationship rather than the goal.
4. Once your potential Life Group Leaders are in the future leader process, you’ll oversee the training that takes place during your group’s gatherings. As you work with a potential new leader, give them opportunities to lead. Encourage, equip, and empower them to take each next step in the process. Ask them to co-lead with you for a week. Then ask them to lead on their own, maybe a couple of weeks later. Future Leaders will need to lead at least 3 weekly group gatherings as a part of the future leader process. Each time they lead, you’ll give them constructive feedback and fill out a form to let your coach and church Life Group Leaders know how it went.
5. One a discipled and approved Life Group Leader emerges from the future leader process, it’s time to launch the new leader. There are 2 ways to prayerfully consider launching a new Life Group Leader: 1) The new leader may take over the current croup, with the core of that Life Group remaining with the new leader while the previous leader takes a few of the members and launches a new group. This approach may provide the new leader with the best chance for success. He or she can build upon the core dependable group to continue to grow the group with others who are invited in by the group or added at the next RE-GROUP session. 2) The new leader could, alternatively, start a new group with just a few seed members from the previous group. In either case, lead your group to encourage the new leader or leader couple and the group members who are moving for the mission to make space for new groups by throwing a party to celebrate their willingness to go. Launch those leaders into their new work with prayers, gifts, and words of affirmation as they step into their new task of leading a Life Group!

We know that a culture of sending can feel like you're splitting up your group. There will be people who don’t want to lose regular interaction with the friends they've made. Some may feel uncomfortable. We get it. But take heart – sending out new groups isn’t so much about splitting as it is multiplying disciples. This will make room for new people to be invited into the existing group and for new individuals to be discipled across the church. It may not be comfortable, but Christ hasn’t commissioned us to comfort. He has commissioned us to spread the word and make disciples who make disciples.

Some groups may grow organically as friends are invited in. That’s a good thing. But as a group grows, pay attention to how big your group is getting. If you have 14 or more people regularly attending your mixed Life Group meetings or 10 or more people regularly attending your single-gender Life Group meetings, then it's time to start thinking about multiplying your group. If a group gets too big, it's tough for everyone to have an opportunity to share and grow close. Group dynamics start will start to break down, and it will grow harder to facilitate the deep honesty, transparency, and community we all need.

Life Group Composition

There are many ways we could divide groups up to foster connections in our church (geography, gender, age, marital status, parental status, hobbies, interests, etc.). Some Life Group Leaders will want to know something like “Can I focus my group on divorced men between the ages of 40 and 50 who root for the Wolfpack and have small children?” We totally understand the desire for different types of specialized groups. However, our Life Group philosophy is that we get discipled and disciple others by being around fellow Christians from all ages and life experiences (see Titus 2:2-8). And we want to avoid 2 perils: 1) the nightmare of logistics in trying to help everyone to find a fit within such specific affinities, and 2) the obstinacy of groups that are too alike to the idea of raising group members up and sending them out.

Therefore, we focus on providing men's, women's, and mixed groups. We aren’t going to regulate groups based on age or affinities or specific life situations. The lone exception to that would be our groups meeting within the Mill – our college and young career ministry that is designed to help our young adults find their identity in Christ and discover where they're being sent.

Since our goal is to help our people find a group of people that they can connect, reflect, and protect with, we do allow Group Leaders to do their own recruitment as a part of the grouping process. But we give a word of warning – don’t recruit anyone for your group that you would not be willing to send out to form another group in the future! That would violate the heartbeat of our Life Groups! And we will not limit individuals from all backgrounds from joining any group that hasn’t reached its maximum capacity (16 for mixed gender groups, 12 for same gender groups). If there are certain facets of your group that might make it more accomodating for some individuals (“we have some parents with young children and are splitting the cost of an outside sitter” or “this group meets in Stokesdale”), we’re happy to advertise those along with your group in the “Find a Life Group” directory so that individuals can find an appropriate fit. But we don’t want to limit groups to say “only people like this” can join beyond the group’s targeted gender composition. We also pray and ask you to pray that God will bring the people He wants into each of our groups for His reasons.

We aim at keeping Life Groups within certain population limits because we want to foster real community. Groups that are too small run the risk of no community at all if, say, a couple of families go on vacation at the same time. Groups that are too large lead us to plastic smiles that pretend to be happy rather than being honest and transparent because we either don't want to scare away non-Christians or we’re concerned that someone might go behind us and gossip about what we've shared. That's why our target group size for mixed gender groups is 8 to 16 people, and our target group size for men's or women's groups is 6 to 12 people.

Life Group Formation

Any existing Life Group that has available capacity will be listed on the Find a Life Group page of our church website, where individuals will have the opportunity to Request to Join those groups during our RE-GROUP period based on any information available about the group (who its Leader or Co-Leaders are, where it meets, is it gender-specific, does it have a childcare strategy, etc.).

RE-GROUP is a scheduled time between Life Group trimesters (usually 2 weeks) when we will encourage anyone who has not found a steady Life Group home to find a new group for the upcoming trimester. During the RE-GROUP period, we will plan to have individuals in the lobby before and after our worship gatherings to help anyone who is not comfortable requesting to join a group on their own through our website.

As a Life Group Leader, whenever someone requests to join your Life Group, they will be automatically added to your group’s roster in “Pending” status. You will also receive an email informing you that you have a Pending member, and it will include the individual’s contact information. We ask that you then text, call, and email each Pending member within 48 hours. We ask you to use all three ways to communicate just to make sure you have really connected with them in any way you may need to follow up later. Sending a text first will prepare a Pending member for your phone call, which is important since most people don't answer their phone for an unrecognized number these days. Make sure the potential group member feels welcome, answer any questions he or she may have to help that individual feel more relaxed about coming to a stranger's house and meeting a bunch of other strangers. As soon as you've reached out - whether you made contact or not - update their status in your group roster from “Pending” to “Active.” We use the “Pending” status to indicate that an individual has requested to join your group but has not been reached out to yet by you or your Co-Leader. “Active” status means you have reached out to the pending member. So please change that individual’s status to “Active” as soon as you have reached out.

Reaching out to a prospective member quickly is important. Think about it - someone has taken a step of faith to join your group. They’re probably a little nervous about that decision. They may worry that our church is too big to care or that no one will respond to them. So let them know we believe everyone has something to offer and to gain from joining a group. And let them know that you're excited they have chosen to join your group. The quicker you respond to tell them that you’re excited they joined your group, the more you can show that you excited to have them learning about Jesus with us. Some of our leaders may even go the extra mile by meeting their new members for coffee before they attend their first group meeting. That's not a requirement, but you may find that it’s a great way to get to know new group members and maybe even ease some anxieties they might have.

Life Group Reformation

Life groups are meant to be stable, but not too stable. We want individuals to find a group where they fit and are known and where someone recognizes if they’ve been missing for a week or two. And some individuals may stay connected with one another in Life Groups for years. But we also want to have a constant spirit of sending and multiplying our Life Groups, such that we celebrate when individuals launch into new groups. Some individuals won’t find a long-term fit in a group on their first or maybe even their first few tries. That’s not a problem. For others, the dynamics may change as work or school or sports schedules shift throughout the year. Our trimester schedule provides individuals with regular opportunities to adapt.

We don’t want individuals hopping between groups in the middle of the trimester. That makes it hard to build confidentiality and fellowship in groups that are adding or removing people. We ask those members who started the group to commit to that group through the end of the 10 weeks of meeting. Near the end of the trimester, as a Life Group Leader, you should provide participants with an opportunity to re-commit to your current Life Group for the coming trimester. This is also a natural “off ramp” for individuals looking to find another group or take a break for some life situation. If someone takes that off ramp, just remove them from your roster when the trimester is over. Then they’ll have a chance to register for a new group at the next RE-GROUP session.

We also welcome Life Group participants to invite others into the group to see what intentional community in the family of Christ looks like. And our leaders may work with certain groups to try to find a fit for newer faces to the church in the middle of the trimester when that seems practical. So we want stability, but we strive to balance that with what might be a healthy avenue for evangelism and discipleship by not slamming the door shut while trimesters are ongoing.

Following Up with Inactive Members

There may also be times when a group member stops coming to your Life Group without letting anyone know why. If you encounter this situation, reach out to the missing group member. Let him or her know that they are missed, that you care about them, and that you hope to see them at the next group gathering. Ask them if everything is okay and if there's anything you can be praying about for them. Strive to help them with whatever they may be going through.

If someone tells you that they want to be removed from your Life Group, see if you can help them find a different group that might be a better fit for them for the coming trimester. We want to care, but we don’t want to be pushy.

If a person who has stopped coming or who has asked to be removed from your group doesn't respond when you reach out to them, follow up with a phone call. If they still don't respond, we recommend that you text and email something like this: “I wanted to thank you again for being part of our Life Group. Since we haven't been able to connect, I wanted to let you know I'll be updating your status to inactive so that we can keep space available for others who may need a group to join. Please feel free to check out our church’s other groups at https://rock.nvf.life/FindAGroup. And don't hesitate to reach out if you simply want to re-connect. If you would like to come back to our group, let me know!

Where do Life Groups meet?

We want our Life Groups to meet in the homes of their group members. This matches the example of the early church in passages like Acts 2:46. And meeting in group member homes has strong advantages. Stepping into someone’s home helps you know them in a deeper way. You see their photos, learn about their families, catch an idea of their tastes, and more. And in a home, there’s an additional level of confidentiality that is fostered where individuals are more open to sharing than they might be in a semi-public place such as a church. Homes automatically scale, as we have as many homes we do new families coming to our church. Furthermore, we want to dispel the myth that God's presence is somehow greater in some places (like a church) than others (your living room).

Does that mean that Life Group Leaders must open their homes to lead a group? Well, maybe. Some Life Group Leaders may be open to hosting. If that’s you, we say “have at it!” But if hosting is something you dread, then don’t do it. Otherwise, you might find yourself burning out when you try to do that and lead your group.

Your group may have one group member or couple who is willing to open up their home to host your group every week. If you know that ahead of the group trimester, let us know and we’ll add that to the directory so people in your neck of the woods can know there’s a meeting place nearby. For other groups, it may help to share the load between multiple host homes. Some groups may even enjoy establishing a rhythm that takes them away from the homes on a seldom occasion, as in “every 4 ^th week, let’s meet at a restaurant.” We just urge you not to get so complicated with the schedule that people can’t find you when the group meeting time comes around. Beyond that, have fun with it. Enjoy giving and receiving a little hospitality.

How does a group get started if it doesn’t have a host identified already? Well, that’s simple. Just sent out a message to your group and say “our first meeting is coming up – would anyone be willing to host us as we get started?” Then, if someone obliges, you can discuss what the plan looks like going forward with your group members in person at your first meeting. If no one chimes in as willing, then we can make accommodations for your first meeting in our church facilities. But we really want groups meeting in homes for the long haul, as this will benefit your group and church. Encourage your people to consider opening up their homes if someone has not done so yet, and consider setting the example if no one else steps up.

What about childcare?

Since there's no one-size-fits all dynamic with the participants in each of our groups, we leave the decisions about childcare to each group. For example, groups with small children may choose to have each participant find their own sitters, rotate childcare responsibilities each week among the group, or pitch in to hire a sitter at the place where the group meets. As a Life Group Leader, you simply need to ensure that your group takes the time to decide how it will organize for any needs in this space.

We do not have Life Groups for our children. But we do have a strong emphasis on children’s ministry at every worship gathering and activities for children and families throughout the year. And we have a strong student ministry that meets mid-week. For parents who are concerned about a lack of children’s gatherings mid-week, help them understand that we believe that the best gifts we can give our children are the gifts of a growing mom and dad. Young adults tend to mimic the behavior patterns of their parents once they start to have their own families. And we are striving to train up the ones they’ll be mimicking with Christ-honoring, life-committing devotion. This will surely benefit the whole family for the long haul.

Dealing with Difficult Situations

There may be a number of difficult situations that you could encounter in a Life Group, and we want to equip you to respond to those.

Heavy Situations

When someone in your group brings something difficult to your group gathering or maybe even breaks down during group time, we certainly want you to support them. You may need to stop the group and pray for them right there. After the meeting, you may need to help them get connected to a coach or pastor and maybe even help them find some counseling. But know this: you cannot take on everyone's problems and try to fix them. Furthermore, it can be tempting to share a bunch of Scripture immediately when you learn that someone is going through a difficult time. We want to provide the comfort of God’s Word, but be conscious about the situation and timing. Sometimes jumping into those treasured words can seem like insensitive Christian platitudes to someone who is facing a fresh tragedy. Praying, listening, and being present is the first step to showing an individual in a heavy situation know that you care. When you don't know what to say, just make it clear that you care with something like this: “Hey, I'm here. I'm with you. I don't know what to say, but I just want you to know I care about you. And it's okay not to be okay right now.” In Romans 12:15, God’s Word instructs us to “rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.” There may be times when we just need to weep with a person in a weep-worthy situation.

E.S.P.N.

One little tool that might help would be to think of the acronym E.S.P.N.

The “E” is for Encourage. When we're with someone going through a crisis, the first step is to just encourage them. Being present is one of the easiest ways that we can encourage people. Listen to the person in crisis. Ask questions, and show that you care. Sometimes we want to rush to fix people and their problems out of love, but just know that it may come across as insulting to someone for you to think that you can instantly fix a problem they've been struggling with for some time. If there was a simple fix, they probably would have fixed it. And even if you have the best idea ever, they may be so upset that they're not in a place where they can hear your advice. God is the true caregiver, and as a Life Gorup Leader, you're there to walk with them through whatever is going on as God heals them. Let that relieve you from the pressure! Your role is not to fix or find the solution. God is in charge. He heals broken people. Your job is to love them, listen to them, and encourage them. Lead your other group members to consider these things. If one of your group members rushes in to try to give advice or starts quoting verse after verse, gently step in and remind everyone that sometimes we just need to listen and pray for our brothers and sisters.

The ”S” is for “Share Scripture.” We do believe the ultimate answer to our deepest needs is the gospel, so we want to lead individuals into the Word. Depending on what a person is going through, you may want to meet with them to talk through Bible passages that will help them in their situation or look up some Scriptures about whatever they're going through to pass along to them before they come to the next meeting. God tells us that His Word will not return void (Is. 55:11). So when the time is right to share Scripture, do so knowing that this is an effective activity that the Holy Spirit wants us to do. Let the Holy Spirit lead you. As mentioned above, we want to be sensitive to the situation. If a group member's child just died and they're devastated, it might not be the best time to share Romans 8:28 to assert that God works all things together for good. That’s absolutely true, but that’s also probably not the best time to say it. It would be better to invest in encouragement first. Use your discernment on timing as you share the Scripture.

The ”P” is for “Pray.” It is good and necessary to pray for our group members going through difficult circumstances. Pray before your group for the person in crisis. Then pray for them in private, and let them know that you are praying for them. As the Spirit prompts you, pray. You may even discern times when it would be best to gather around a group member, lay hands on them as a group, and pray.

The ”N” is for “Next Steps.” If someone is in a crisis, even when you and your group have faithfully done the work of encouraging, sharing Scripture, and praying, you may sense that they could use more help. The next step is would be to refer that individual to your pastors. Our pastors can connect hurting individuals with others who are ready to walk with people who are going through tough times.

One word of caution here as a leader: don’t let one group member's issues that they're walking through become the sole focus of your group week after week. Lead that individual to a next step so that the group can continue to meet all of its objectives.

Excessive Talkers

It’s not realistic to expect everyone in the group to speak for the same portion of time. Not everyone enjoys talking to the same degree. That’s OK. But if you detect that someone in your group is dominating the conversation, begin with a few questions: 1) is there really a problem, or am I just reacting to someone who is different than me? Remember that you aren’t the measuring rod for “normal” behavior yourself. We want to have space for different people to become a connected group. 2) Has anyone else in the group expressed discomfort or annoyance about this person over-talking? If you watch for signals, your group members will let you know when there’s a problem. 3) Are group members being actively denied a chance to participate because of one person monopolizing the conversation? This is what we want to prevent. If others aren’t able to express themselves or share their opinions, then you, as a Life Group Leader, should step in.

Here are a few proven ways to improve the situation: 1) people usually view eye contact as an invitation to talk. So sitting next to a person who talks a lot can minimize eye contact from you as the Leader, which may reduce their talking. 2) You can remind the group as a whole that everyone benefits when everyone has a chance to participate in the discussion. It is good and acceptable to set a few ground rules and reinforce them every now and then. 3) If an individual continues to dominate the discussion, then your best choice as a Life Group Leader is to have a private conversation with that individual. You don’t have to have a stern or disciplinary tone; just let that person know that you know they are eager to participate in the life of the group, and then request his or her help in creating space and opportunities for others to participate.

Confidentiality, Abuse, and Neglect

If our groups are going to protect one another in a way that helps individuals grow in Christ, then we must feel safe communicating with one another. Transparency and confidentiality go hand in hand. As a Life Group Leader, you have an important responsibility of setting and steering a high level of confidentiality for group members. Tell individuals in your group that with the exception of any circumstances where doing so would be unlawful or harmful, everyone in the group should keep the confidence of other members of the group in whatever is shared in Life Group gatherings. And be quick to address any instances of individuals in your group gossiping about what they have heard in the group gathering by speaking with the involved individuals in love, reminding them of the importance of confidentiality for healthy group life, and connecting them with someone in Life Groups leadership when necessary.

There are certain situations where individuals may reveal instances of abuse and neglect that would warrant you reporting those incidents in subjection to the governing authorities per Romans 13. Brad Hambrick, who is the Pastor of Counseling at the Summit Church in Durham, has prepared a thoughtful article and accompanying video that will help you understand what constitutes as reasonable suspicion regarding abuse and neglect which should be reported to the authorities. Check those resources out here: https://bradhambrick.com/sgabuse/

Alcohol

While we believe that the consumption of alcohol in moderation is a gray area issue where Christians are free to operate guided by their own consciences, we do not commission nor condone any activities, including Life Groups, which meet under the name of our church to include alcohol as a part of those gatherings. Knowing that some individuals struggle with addiction to alcohol and that many individuals are driven toward behavior outside of the bounds of Christian maturity when consuming alcohol, we do not want to create a potential stumbling block for any of the people under our care by enticing them with something that could lead them in a sinful direction. As a Life Group Leader, you should help your group to understand this prohibition for the sake of caring for our brothers and sisters in your group as you undertake planning for any social time, either associated with the weekly gatherings of your group or with any Deeper Gathering events you might plan.

Coaching Framework

Every Life Group Leader will have a coach assigned to them for prayer, support, encouragement, communication, and problem solving. Your coach is your first contact for all things related to Life Groups and your personal connection to Life Groups ministry.

All our groups are part of the body. We don't want our groups and our leaders to drift away. We want to rally around each other and build each other up and hold each other accountable. Your coach is there to keep your group connected to the body. Therefore, your coach should text you at least once a month and call you once a trimester to encourage you, pray for you, and help you with anything going on in your group. Your coach may follow up on major communications related to our Life Groups ministry or on any pending members, attendance, or other Life Group leadership issues that you may have. Your coach may choose to gather with your group on some recurring basis to help your group stay connected to the church.

This communication structure helps a growing church where it is difficult for just a few staff members to communicate everything effectively to all our leaders and groups. If you have a question on how to manage your Life Group on our website and you can’t find the answer in our online resources for Life Group Leaders, just ask your coach. If you think your group is getting full and could use some help thinking about how to multiply, talk to your coach. If you're not sure what to say to someone going through a tough time, ask your coach.

Your coach wants to help you. All you have to do is reach out and invite their help in. This isn't to say you should never talk with your pastors or Life Group leadership. No. We want you to get to know them. We want you to talk with them as you come to worship each week. But as we grow, it might be difficult for them to handle every question that every leader has.

As a Life Group Leader, please be receptive and responsive to your Life Group Coach. We understand that most people are busy. Different leaders will want different amounts of contact with their coaches. However, please honor your coach by responding to their emails, texts, and phone calls. It only takes a few seconds to text your coach about how you're doing and any prayer request that you have.

Want to go deeper?

If you want to learn more about leading great groups, we recommend the following resources:

• Sticky Church by Larry Osborne
• Community: Taking Your Small Group Off Life Support by Brad House
• Gaining by Losing: Why the Future Belongs to Churches that Send by J.D. Greear